Small, Big Win for the Soul
What makes a person soulful? Mr. Webster describes being soulful as full of feelings or full of expression and emotions. Looking back at my early 20s, a big ball of emotions would be the perfect way to describe me. Bad emotions to be clear. I really can't blame it all on my 22-year-old brain being unfully developed according to science, because steadily, it was the unhealthy environment I was in. For you see, I am a creature of routines. In fact, sometimes I depend on my daily routine to keep me sane and if I am not careful, I allow my routines to define, well... me. My routines back in my early 20s were bound by people, religion, intertwined with a lot of manipulation. So in turn, I found my identity in people, religion, intertwined with a lot of manipulation. Understanding that I was divinely delivered from stagnant chaos, I have been recovering and every year, I heal. But I told you. I am a creature of routine. I may no longer be bound by wavering foundations, but I am in constant battle with my Monday to Friday regimens that makes me feel well, like a robot.
Wake up. Get coffee. Instagram. Text. Get to work. Instagram. Small talk. Text. Gym. Lunch. Instagram. Go back to work. Text. Small talk. Check on blog. Instagram. Text. Get off work. Instagram. Blog. Grab dinner. Text. Instagram. YouTube. Promise myself that I will quit the Internet tomorrow because it's the Devil and also call my Grandma in the Philippines more often and finally tell her that she's right, the Internet is the Devil. Text. Instagram. YouTube. Fall asleep. Repeat.
But then, a phenomenal two-day fracture in time finally appears- the WEEKEND! Like a good meal when #hangry, the weekend suddenly makes me feel human again. Leaving me with my small, but big win for the soul goal to have intentional quiet time on Sundays in hopes to live out the rest of the week less calloused, less cynical, more present, more human.
Planners are popular to digest, grasp, absorb and plan for the week ahead. I change my plans throughout the week way too much that my planner ends up looking like a squiggly mess by the end of the week and my predominantly right-brained personality can't have that. Half-written journals have become a collection of decor in my bedroom. Lists, bullet points, and short notes in my iPhone is a personal sacrament so when I found the 52 Lists Project journal, I was ecstatic! Designer and Blogger Moorea Seal calls herself "Miss Lists" and I completely relate. The project is designed to create a list every week with thought-provoking prompts to help discover one's inner wisdom, power, beauty, joy, and creativity. I am on my third week with this small, but big win for the soul habit and it has been rewarding. Sundays without social media gives me plenty of time to sit down, reflect, and recover. It rescues me from the week's systematic schedules, algorithms, likes, and hashtags remembering that I can't get any more soulful than face-to-face interactions with creatures called humans.
I am a citizen of a culture filled with information and invitations to go, see, and do. Learning from my past, I have decided to always fight for my inner self that I've re-gained through years of healing. This is easier said than done, but now I am starting to understand why Sunday in most Christian calendars means a day to rest.
Friends, thank you so much for allowing me to share my small, but big win goals for 2018. Whether you like it or not, you are now my accountability partners and I will definitely check-in from time to time on the Gram as I read my 2018 book list for the mind, play outside once a week for the body, and have my "Soulful Sunday Quite Time". Cheers to a thriving 2018 with small, big wins for the mind, body, and soul.